My sweet little girl is cutting her eye teeth right now and nothing seems to help with the pain. I took some time to rock her to sleep tonight which is not a normal occurrence. We have our routine down and it works fabulously...but sometimes you need to break the rules to comfort those you love.
I lifted my screaming child out of her crib and nestled her carefully in the crook of my arm. Her tear stained face is clammy and warm as she rests it on my shoulder, just grazing my cheek. I can't help but notice the wet strands of hair that are clinging to her cheek like a sticky hand that's been slammed against the window. I carefully slide the strands behind her ears and run my fingers carefully over her forehead.
I stare at her little face and remember how much smaller it was. It feels like just yesterday when I was bringing her home and carefully resting her whole body in a single arm. She now stretches her legs past my lap. The once fragile body now numbs my arm. I can't think of a better feeling.
I take deep breathes in hopes the my slow heart beat will help calm hers. Her little sausage fingers grip my pointer finger and begin to rub to the beat of our rocks. I mimic her movements and gently rub her little thumb. I watch as the eyelids fall and flicker, fall and flicker, until they do not open.
I continue to rock...backwards, forwards, backwards, forwards.
Her body has become heavy but my hungry arms have not had enough. I can't help but hold her a little longer. Chores and papers can wait a bit longer. As I stare at the long eyelashed, curly haired girl in my arms, I am reminded of how blessed I am and how precious time is.
The Grandfather clock chimes that my cuddle time is over. I begrudgingly lift the little angel in my arms and rest her in her crib. Midnight feedings will be soon and my arms will hunger for the cuddles and rhythm of the chair.
Backwards, forwards, backwards, forwards.